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how true!!

October 19, 2006

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure. ~Murphy’s Law

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. ~Author Unknown

A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist. ~Franklin P. Jones
It’s always been and always will be the same in the world: The horse does the work and the coachman is tipped. ~Author Unknown

An unwatched pot boils immediately. ~H.F. Ellis

Anything you lose automatically doubles in value. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. ~Will Rogers

When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time. ~Author Unknown

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. ~Author Unknown

It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. ~Author Unknown

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. ~Author Unknown

There are many in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed for example that we all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summertime and the poor get it in the winter. ~Bat Masterson

No one is listening until you fart. ~Author Unknown

Keep a thing seven years and it’s bound to come in handy. ~Russian Proverb

Admiration is a very short-lived passion, that immediately decays upon growing familiar with its object. ~Joseph Addison, The Spectator

I find I always have to write something on a steamed mirror. ~Elaine Dundy

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. ~Dave Barry

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. ~Author Unknown

It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer. ~Albert Einstein

I think the world is run by C students. ~Al McGuire

Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.” ~Mark Twain, autobiography, 1904 (but, as yet no actual record of this under Disraeli’s authorship)

Then there is the man who drowned crossing a stream with an average depth of six inches. ~W.I.E. Gates

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