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it’s the kind of 3am emo rants

December 11, 2010

1. the constant feeling of having yet to settle down

not too good an excuse because technically i’ve been back for a little more than four months. but occasionally i still have the “is this my room?” kind of feeling distant and foreign

2. no longer able to live in my tiny universe

have become very conscious of what i am doing and how it is affecting other people. always the need to re-re-re-examine what i have just said during conversations. but the ironic thing is that i have also discovered that i have become meaner when i speak. very bad

3. empty

the constant need to want to fill up my time with more things so that i will feel more assured that i am living my life meaningfully. and at the same time not knowing what i am so busy for. and the cycle continues.

why am i so affected? i have lost total control over whether i am currently feeling happy, or not.

你眉頭開了 所以我笑了
你眼睛紅了 我的天灰了

呵天曉得 既然說 你快樂 於是我快樂
玫瑰都開了 我還想怎麼呢
求之不得 求不得 天造地設一樣的難得
喜怒和哀樂 有我來重蹈你覆轍

你頭髮濕了 所以我熱了
你覺得累了 所以我睡了

不問為什麼 心安理得

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