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You know I don’t even swear usually

April 7, 2013

If there is a healthy thing to do now, is to get this out of my system.

So recently I’ve started helping out in a project, outside of work. I don’t exactly see it as a freelance job, but more of like helping out with stuff here there in it. But it’s so bizarrely fucked up; the timeline is ludicrous, a person who works on it day night, getting up only to pee and eat, is not going to be able to finish it.

What I hate it even more, is that the sole motivation for me to put time into it, is because other people on this project are sacrificing more than me. It’s like the peer pressure of work, my life is fucked up because of this project, you better be too, because you know misery loves company. I don’t even think shaming you into commitment is healthy.

And this feeling is screwing up with me that I am doing petty things to cheat some time off, like taking longer dinner breaks and taking longer transportation options. Technically, I can put in more effort into the project, but it’s so repulsive. For a brief moment I thought yeah right now only death validates time off this project.

So I’m here writing, pretending that I am working, and counting down to an appropriate time for me to say “I guess it’s time for me to catch some sleep” will come soon.

So fucked up

One Comment leave one →
  1. April 7, 2013 12:43 pm

    Aiyo….. Be brave, do the right thing!! Tell them to screw off and you’re so done!

    Does it affect you in any serious way?? No $$$ and doesn’t affect your job per se right? For pride and reputation? HAHAHAHA! If you don’t see meaning in it anymore, might as well 長痛不如短痛…

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